One moment in time
by sconroy36
Summary: Six months ago Derek left to find himself. When he returns to Meredith he finds she is not ready to start again. This is my first fanfic please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

**It was raining so hard that it was impossible for Meredith to see any other vehicles on the road she hurried and pulled into Seattle Grace Hospital. It had been a long night she hadn't slept at all she just kept thinking of him. When he left he had told her that he just needed space time on his own to clear his head. But that was almost five months ago everyone told her to move on and to forget him but it was impossible. She had found out yesterday from Chief Webber that Dereck would be back today and she wasn't for sure if she was ready for the roller coaster ride yet again.**

**Dereck pulled into Seattle Grace hospital excited to be home. He still remembers the day he left he had hurt her so bad and knew that she was serious when she told him that if he left her again she wouldn't take him back. He didn't want to leave her he just needed time, time to see if he could handle being alone. He had to find himself and knew that he couldn't do that around Seattle. Dereck was determined to make things right with Meredith he would prove that he would never leave her side again. He prayed that she had not moved on.**

**Meredith walked into the locker room and realized she was almost an hour early for her shift but she didn't care. Dr. Bailey would be happy that she was on time today since she had been late three days in a row. Meredith hurried and unloaded all of her belongings and was about to head at when she ran into Christina.**

_"What are you doing here this early? You are never early. What's up Meredith?" Christina asked accusingly._

_"I couldn't sleep at all lastnight knowing that Dereck would be here in this hospital today. So after tossing and turning all night I decided to just come in and face the music." Meredith stated._

**Dereck jumped on the elevator rushing to get up to see the chief. He missed riding the elevator there were so many memories that he shared with Meredith on this elevator and he was excited to make some more. Just then the doors opened and he was face to face with Meredith. She got on the elevator and turned to face him.**

_"So your back?" she asked as she turned back around._

**He could smell the scent of lavender in her hair and breathed in the sweet smell. He loved the way she smelled and all he wanted to do was bury his nose into her hair. He walked up behind her and grabbed her around the waist.  
**  
_"I am so sorry that I left you. I missed you." he held on to her until she pushed him away._

_"I hope you realize that we can not pick up where we left off there is just to much water under the bridge now." she told him as the elevator opened up and she walked away._

_Meredith walked over to Dr. Bailey. "Dr. Bailey I would like to work in the pit this morning." she was determined to keep her distance from Dereck.  
"Grey since when do you decide where you work." Dr. Bailey asked._

"You have been requested to work with Dr. Shepherd. Last time I checked I was your boss so you will do as I say." Dr. Bailey said sternly before she walked away.

_Dereck knew that it would not be easy getting Meredith to forgive him but if she worked with him today maybe he could get her to understand his actions._

"Dr. Shepherd Bailey said that you requested me." Meredith was frustrated knowing that Dereck was trying to use his power to win her over.

"Meredith you have to let me explain you have to give me the chance to make us okay." he reached for her hand but she quickly pulled away.

_"Do not touch me. I will work with you but I will not talk about our relationship. It's over, we are over and you can not turn back time. It's time we both moved on." she went to turn around but he jumped in front of her._

"Its not over Meredith I know that you still love me. And I am madly in love with you. Why are you making this so hard on us." he smiled trying to win her over with that McDreamy smile.

_"If you really loved me you wouldn't have left me alone. Dereck you left this hospital five months ago and never turned around. You never called to see how I was doing. I kept thinking you would call if only you had called and let me know something maybe it would be different but you didn't. You keep walking away from me and I am tired of hurting. So I have decided that it is time that I moved on and its time that you move on as well." Her eyes were cold towards him as she stood staring at him._

**Dereck let Meredith walk away for now this wasn't over he would make her see how much he loved her.**

**Mark Sloan had never been one to fall in love but here he was falling head over heels in love with Christina Yang. She was feisty and always** **put her work before anything else which he tended to do as well. They had been dating for a couple months but when he woke up this morning he realized that he was falling in love with her.  
**  
"_Mark do you want to get drinks tonight at Joe's" Dereck yelled. He hadn't realized that Dereck had returned but knew that this could only spell trouble for Meredith._

_"Yeah I will meet you there around seven" Mark yelled back._

_Meredith sat quietly eating her lunch when Izzy slammed her tray on the table._

"I feel like going to Joe's tonight care to join me Meredith?" she rolled her eyes when she saw Alex headed towards them.

"Yes I get off at 6 I will meet you there." Meredith picked up her tray.

"Christina are you up for some drinks tonight." she said with a grin.

"Hell yeah that sounds perfect." Christina stated.

**Meredith quickly emptied her tray and headed back inside she needed some tequila to wash away the pain she was feeling in her heart. She was not focused today and knew that she had to concentrate because she was scrubbing in on one of Dereck's surgeries in a couple of minutes. Yet she just really wanted to end her day and head over to Joe's where she could drown her sorrows in a bottle.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

**Meredith sat at the bar waiting on Christina she had already had two shots of tequila and was about to take her third. She had basically ran from the hospital after she finished up so that she wouldn't run into Derek.**

_"Hey are you drinking without me?" Christina asked as she sat down at the bar. Christina asked Joe for a cold beer._

"So seriously Mer did you tell Derek where to shove his McDremy smile." Christina smiled.

** She hated Derek for what he had done to Meredith and she knew that if she gave him a chance he would hurt her all over again.**

_"Christina I am just so tired of talking to him that I tried my hardest to avoid him. Let's not talk about him anymore. I just want to enjoy my tequila." Meredith downed another shot and she was starting to relax a little when someone sat down next to her.  
_  
_"Hey would you like to dance." he asked._

**Meredith was about ready to tell him to take a hike when she saw the one person she hoped wouldn't come here tonight.  
**  
_ "Sure I would love to dance." she replied as she started to stand up._

_"Uh Meredith do you realize what happens when you drink tequila?" Christina asked_.

_Meredith didn't respond she simply pointed at the door. Christina turned towards the door and saw Derek and Mark._

_Meredith headed out on the dance floor and started dancing. "So whats your name?" she asked as she put her arms around his neck._

_"Michael but you can call me Mike." he smiled a cute smile._

"Hi Mike , nice to meet you my name is Meredith." she stopped talking and closed her eyes.

_Derek couldn't believe Meredith was hanging all over that man. He knew she was drinking and he wasn't about to watch her hang in another mans arms. He slowly walked over to her._

"Excuse me but you are dancing with my girlfriend. Do you mind if I cut in?" Derek wasn't asking he was basically telling this guy to back off but he was trying to be nice.

_"Derek you know that you are not my anything. Mike please don't go I was having a wonderful time dancing with you." Meredith reached for his hand but he quickly pulled away._

"Sorry but I don't like confrontations. By looking at him I can tell that he would put up quite a little fight." he quickly walked away.

_Meredith was pissed, what gave Derek the right to chase Mike away like that. She really didn't want to dance with him anyways but it was her business not his._

"Seriously Derek stay the hell away from me. I told you earlier that we are through and I mean it. You left me you don't get to decide who I can dance with."

Meredith quickly walked back over to the bar. "Joe another shot of tequila." Meredith looked around for Christina and noticed that she was talking to Mark. She knew that they had begun seeing each other but wasn't quit sure if they were serious or not.

_"Meredith please, I love you and I need you in my life." Derek pleaded_.

_ "So now you need me. Now you love me. Tell me Derek why did it take you so long? How many times will I have to watch you walk away? You have hurt me so many times and I am done. So just walk away again and leave me alone with my tequila." Meredith stood up and moved to the other side of the bar._

**Derek turned and sat down by the dart boards. He couldn't figure out what to say to make things right with her. When he left, he knew that he loved her, he just needed time, time to himself. He believed that when he came back she would be waiting for him with open arms.**

_"So, she still not talking to you huh?" Mark asked as he sat down next to Derek._

_ "You know she was pretty torn up when you left. She would come to work and not talk to anyone except Christina. We all thought she was going to break apart." Mark explained._

"I just wish I could turn back time. I miss the way she used to look at me. Like I was the only one that mattered. Now she looks at me like I destroyed her. What should I do?" Derek pleaded with Mark.

_"You are going to have to give her time Derek. She just needs time." Mark stood up and grabbed some darts._

_Meredith couldn't help but look over towards Derek. There eyes met and held for a long time and then she quickly looked away._

"Seriously does he think he is a gift from above." Meredith asked to no one particular.

** She decided she wanted to dance and there were plenty of men around to do just that with. Men who wouldn't walk away when Derek confronted them. She searched the bar but quickly changed her mind. That would just feed him ammunition because he would think she was trying to make him jealous. Who was she kidding that is what she was doing why does love have to be so complicated. Why couldn't she just forget about him. She had to much tequila and she just needed to head home. She decided to duck out while no one was paying attention she needed to be alone and she would call a taxi from outside the bar.**

_Derek watched her head out of the bar and stood up to leave. "Mark I think that I will head home. I'll see you tomorrow okay." Derek finished his drink and headed for the door. He figured she went home and wanted to go and see her while she was alone._

**Meredith arrived at her house and quickly went inside. It was dark and quite just the way she liked it. She was about to head upstairs when she heard a knock at the door. She went to answer it and was shocked when she answered**.

_ "What are you doing here Finn?" she asked. "May I come in I need to talk to you." Finn answered as he walked inside._

**Meredith and Finn walked out into the kitchen. Meredith grabbed two cups of coffee. She remembered that Finn liked his coffee black.**

_ "So what brings you hear at this late hour?" she was surprised at how handsome he was._

_"Look Meredith I know you made your choice. I also know that after you made your choice Derek up and left you. I also know that he is back in town. It's just that I haven't been able to get you out of my head and I wanted to see if you were picking things back up with Derek or not. If not maybe we could go out or something." he looked nervous._

"_Seriously Finn you drove all the way over here to ask me out? You could have called." she was shocked that he hadn't moved on.  
_  
**Maybe he was more like her than she had thought. She would love to go out with Finn again but she didn't want to hurt him and she couldn't help but think about Derek.**

_ "I know I should have called but I had to see you." Finn reached for her hand and pulled her close to him. He could smell the tequila on her breath and the smell of lilacs in her hair. He bent down and reached for her lips. They began kissing and he didn't think that he could pull away from her this time. Luckily Meredith pulled away first._

"_I'm sorry Finn. Its true that I am not seeing Derek but I am still not ready. I just don't think that I could handle any relationship right now. I definitely don't want to hurt you again." Meredith turned away from him._

_"Listen Meredith don't worry about hurting me I am a big boy. Just go out with me one time we can go have dinner. It doesn't have to be a date just two people getting together to eat. You do have to eat you know." Finn_

**Derek had just reached Meredith's house when he saw Finn leaving. He didn't know why Finn would be at Meredith's house but he could only imagine. He got out of his car and walked up to her door. After knocking for a couple of minutes Meredith opened her door.**

"_Hey I know it's late but I thought that you may like to have dinner with me tomorrow night." Derek asked._

"Look Derek I told you that I do not want to do this anymore." she replied.  
  
_"I get it you are seeing Finn again." Derek ran his fingers through his hair. How could he have let this happen._

_ "No Derek I am not seeing Finn. Yes he asked me out. I haven't answered him yet though so if you will kindly leave I need to get some sleep." she was about to close the door._

_ "I am not walking away this time Mer. I will fight for you forever if I have to. I know you still love me and you are scared that I will leave you again. So I will prove myself to you." he reached up and covered her mouth with his lips._

**The kiss was so incredible neither of them pulled away. Finally he let go and looked into her eyes. For a moment he could see the love she had for him in her eyes. Then he knew that he had to fight for her because their love was meant to be.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

**As she laid in bed Meredith kept thinking of the "kiss". The kiss that she had shared with Derek she couldn't deny no matter how hard she try that it was amazing. She had so many questions lying in her head. Her heart was screaming run to him hold him, while her brain was telling her to keep away he will only hurt me once again. She had to find a way to get Derek to prove himself to her but she was afraid if she gave him the chance to prove himself he would fail and she would be the one who would fall to pieces. Why does love have to be so damn frustrating she wondered. Then of course there was Finn she really liked him but more as a friend then a lover. She could easily tell him that she would go out with him because he would be the safe guy. The one who wouldn't leave but she couldn't do it because she would only end up hurting him in the long run. **

**Derek laid in the dark thinking of Meredith he couldn't believe that Finn had the nerve to show up and try and take Mer from him once again. The problem with Finn showing up again is that she may chose him this time. He wasn't about to stand by and let that happen he had to find a way back into her heart. He knew when he kissed her that she felt the heat that was between them. When he pulled away he could see the love in her eyes. He would have to deal with Finn make him walk away once and for all. No more mister nice guy, nice guys finish last and he wasn't about to lose Meredith his sweet love.**

**Meredith was once again late she couldn't sleep the night before and when she finally fell asleep the alarm sounded. She quickly threw her clothes on and pulled her hair into a pony tail. The problem with thinking all night is that you don't get much sleep and look exhausted in the morning. She headed out the door and quickly drove to the hospital. She went straight into the locker room and put her stuff away. As she was walking out she ran into Alex. **

"_Have you seen Izzy today?" he asked as they caught up with Dr. Bailey and the other interns._

"_She will be late today she had something to do this morning." Meredith answered. _

"_Excuse me I am I speaking? Would you like__to listen Meredith or would you rather work in the Pitt all day?" Dr. Bailey asked. "Now as I was saying there are quite a few surgeries today so I want everyone on their toes and helping out." Dr. Bailey added. "Okay everyone go, what do you need a written invitation. Grey hold on since you were late come over and I will give you your assignment." Dr. Bailey handed Meredith a chart. "Here is your patient. She is a 40 year old woman who was admitted last night with abdominal pain. I would like you to run some blood work and also do some x rays." Dr. Bailey said. _

**Meredith took the chart and headed for the patients room. She was reading the chart and wasn't paying attention to where she was going. The next thing she knew she hit in to someone and the papers went flying. **

"_I am so sorry" she said without looking to see who she ran into._

_She looked up and noticed that she bumped into Finn. _

"_Oh I am so sorry Finn. I was not paying any attention to where I was going." she breathed a sigh of relief. _

"_It's okay Meredith I was looking for you anyways. Have you decided if you would like to go have dinner tonight?" he asked as he bent over to help her pick up the papers._

"_I don't know. I guess if it is just as friends." she stood up. _

"_Yes, I promise just friends." Finn agreed. _

"_I will pick you up here at seven is that okay?" Finn asked. _

"_Okay sounds nice. I have to run and finish work. See you at seven. she placed a kiss to his cheek and walked off. _

**Derek had heard the whole conversation between Meredith and Finn and he knew that he had to stop their date tonight. He just wasn't for sure how to go about doing it. Then it hit him he needed an intern to stay and keep an eye on a patients recovery tonight and who better then Meredith Grey. He had to find Bailey. **

_Dr. Bailey was signing off on charts. _

"_Dr. Bailey, I need one of your interns to be on call tonight for one of my patients." Derek was trying not to smile._

"_Well I think that would have to be Dr. Grey. Would that be alright?" Miranda asked still signing off on charts. _

"_Yes thanks could you let her know for me? I have a couple errands to run." Derek asked as he headed towards the elevator. _

**Meredith was finishing up on her x ray and about to change for dinner tonight with Finn. **

"_Grey I need you to stay tonight and keep an eye on Dr. Shepherds patient." Dr. Bailey stated._

"_Seriously, I had plans." Meredith said_

"_Seriously, Dr. Grey you have plans and are you not an intern. When I say you need to do something you say yes no questions asked. Am I making myself clear Grey." Dr. Bailey asked as she walked away._

**Meredith walked into the locker room and was about to call Finn when Izzy walked in. **

"_Hey Mer any plans tonight?" Izzy asked as she started to change clothes. _

"_Well, I had plans but thanks to Bailey they have been canceled."Meredith answered._

"_Tell me you didn't have plans with Dr. Shepherd?" Izzy asked._

"_No, with Finn he was going to take me out to dinner." Meredith stated as she walked out of the locker room._

**Meredith called and let Finn know that she had to work tonight and that she was very sorry that she had to cancel their date. He had told her that they could go out another night. She thought he sounded upset but maybe it was for the best anyways. She was about to lay down when she received a 911 page. She quickly left the on call room.****She headed to the nurses station to see what the page was for. The nurse told her she was needed in room 528. When she walked in the room she was shocked. There was a candle light dinner with yellow roses throughout the room.**

"_Oh my what is this?" she asked herself._

_Meredith turned around to find Derek standing in the door way. "What is going on Derek?" she asked on the verge of tears._

"_Well I figured if you had to be on call tonight for one of my patients I may as well make sure you get a nice meal." Derek walked into the room and captured her mouth into a kiss. _

"_Shall we sit down and eat?" he asked as he released her mouth from the kiss._

"_Derek you shouldn't have done all of this. It's to much and I told you that we" he interrupted her before she finished her sentence. _

"_Look I did this from one friend to another. Not to get into your pants so to speak. I love you Meredith and I am going to prove myself to you. So shall we eat?" he pulled her to the table._

"_Well, I am hungry." she said as she sat down at the table._

**Meredith couldn't help but smile at Derek. He had planned such a wonderful meal for her and he wasn't even asking about their future. They finished their meal in silence. Every so often they would exchange a smile. Wow, she really loved this man and was beginning to change her mind about him. **

"_That was incredible Derek thanks for thinking of me." she smiled at him. _

_It was enough to melt his heart. "I always think of you Meredith." he answered. "I am sorry about your dinner date with Finn though." he smiled a mischievous smile._

**It took a minute for Derek's statement to register but once it did she stood up. **

"_How did you know about my dinner date with Finn?" she was furious. "Nobody knew except Izzy and I know she didn't tell you._

"_I over heard you guys talking that's all." he answered._

"_So tell me Derek was it your idea for me to be on call tonight? Were you spying on me?" she was screaming but didn't care._

"_Calm down Meredith I wasn't spying. I just happened to walk by and hear you guys planning to have dinner together. Look I am sorry." he stood up._

"_Tell me now are you the reason that I am on call tonight?" she asked in a calm voice._

"_Yes I set it up. I just couldn't bare to see you with Finn. I told you Meredith that I loved you. I know you love me and I am just trying to prove myself." his eyes were saddened._

"_Derek I understand that you love me. And yes I love you as well. But I told you that I don't know if I can get on that roller coaster right now. I need you to prove yourself to me prove that you will not run away again. That doesn't mean to sabotage my life. Finn and I are just friends. You have to let me decide who I will have dinner with." she walked out of the room leaving him staring after her._

**Derek ran after her he had to make her understand that he was afraid of losing her. He wasn't trying to sabotage her life. Hell he wanted to be apart of her life why would he mess it up. He stopped and realized that it was an awful thing that he had done to her. But he wasn't sorry he couldn't imagine her out on a date with Finn. Even if she just wanted to be friends with him he wanted more. What if she excepted and they became more than friends. So no he wasn't sorry because she was his he would not let another man mess that up. He finally caught up to Meredith.**

"_Please Mer stop let me explain." he told her as she turned around. "Look, I am sorry that you are upset but I make no apologies for canceling your date. I love you and I will not let Finn take you away from me." he finished._

"_Derek six months ago I chose you over Finn. I declared my love to you over any other man. You showed how much you loved me when you walked away. I have been thinking a lot about that day over the last couple days and I now realize that I wasn't enough for you then. So tell what makes me enough now. You want my love tell me why am I enough NOW." she asked._

"_What are you talking about Mer you have always been enough." he answered._

"_No Derek because if I was enough if you were totally in love with me you wouldn't have left you would have been afraid like you are now. You would have been afraid someone would come in and take your place. That would have kept you in Seattle." she sighed._

_Derek didn't know what to say. "Mer I'm sorry." he turned to walk away._

"_Walk away Derek instead of facing the truth that is what you are best at." she turned and walked away._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

**Meredith had called Finn this morning and asked him out for breakfast since their date was canceled the night before. She was a little nervous about going out with him but decided she could use another friend. After last night she wasn't sure if Derek would speak to her again or not. He was probably going to walk away just like he always has. She almost fell for his tricks again but luckily he made an ass out of himself to cancel out her feelings. Her and Finn ordered their breakfast and started eating in silence.**

"_Meredith is there something wrong. It seems like you are a million miles away. How was work last night?" he reached for her hand but she quickly pulled away._

"_I'm sorry work was fine exhausting but fine. As for your question I'm fine just a little tired. So what do you have planned for the day?" she pushed her food around her plate._

"_Not much I have to put a dog to sleep today he has cancer and there is not much hope." he looked out the window realizing that it may cause her to think of Derek and Doc._

"_I'm sorry Meredith I shouldn't have told you about that." _

"_Thats okay I know we did the right thing for Doc. He would have been in a lot of pain." she finished eating her breakfast and Finn paid the bill._

**They walked outside in silence and stood and looked at each other.**

"You are not able to forget about him are you?" Finn asked.

"I have tried so hard. I am in love with him. He has hurt me time and time again but love isn't so easy to forget. I really like you Finn that is why I didn't want to go out with you. I don't want to hurt you the way he has hurt me. I hope you can forgive me."

"Meredith I knew going in that you only wanted friendship and I thought I could handle that but I guess I was wrong."

They hugged each other and went their separate ways. Meredith went home to get some rest. When she arrived home she found yellow roses on her kitchen table with a note attached.

**-Meredith I will not walk away this time. You have my heart and I just hope that you will learn to trust me again. You asked me last night how can you be enough now and why you were not enough six months ago. Well I thought about that question last night and you have always been enough. I wasn't enough six months ago. I would have never been what you needed. I was so messed up and tore up that I couldn't think straight. Even though I left I never stopped loving you. And the reason I didn't call you was because I was afraid that I would have ran back home without taking the chance to heal. I love you and will not walk away. So if that means I have to keep canceling your dates well sorry honey I will do just that.**

**Love Derek. **

**Meredith went over to pick up the phone to call Derek. Only to change her mind before dialing the numbers. She believed every word he had written but wasn't quite sure if she could trust him. She screamed out in frustration. Then decided she needed to go and take a nap. **

**As Meredith lay in bed her thoughts kept going back to thoughts of Derek. She finally fell asleep only to have sweet dreams of them together and happy. **

**She woke up to the ring of the telephone. **

"_Hello"_

"_Meredith its Dr. Bailey I need you to come to the hospital your mom took a turn for the worse and she is in critical condition." _

"_I will be right there Dr. Bailey"_

**Meredith rushed to get dressed she hoped her mom would be alright. She ran out the door and drove to the hospital.**

**By the time that she had arrived Christina, Izzy, Alex, and George were all waiting outside for her. **

"_Meredith I am sorry your Mom has passed away." Izzy whispered._

"_What I just talked to Dr. Bailey. I rushed as fast as I could"_

"_I know Meredith it happened really fast" George rubbed her arm._

"_Meredith you are allowed to scream if you want." Alex added._

"_Mer I am sorry about your mom. Would you like to go and get some tequila?" Christina laughed._

_All of a sudden they were all laughing. She needed that the laughing helped keep the tears at bay._

_She grabbed Christina and pulled her to the side. "Where is Derek?" _

"_He left a couple hours ago. Why?"_

"_I'll tell you later. I have to go." and with that Meredith walked away._


	5. Chapter 5

**I just wanted to take the time and tell everyone thanks for the reviews and I hope that you are enjoying this story. Keep the reviews coming I really enjoy what you have to say.**

Chapter Five

Meredith walked into her mother's room to say goodbye. She looked so peaceful better than she looked a couple months ago. She had been through so much in her life and Meredith realized that she never stopped loving Chief Webber. She didn't want to make the same mistake.

Meredith wasn't for sure where she was going when she got into her car she just started driving before she knew it she was pulling up to Derek's trailer. She got out of the car and headed up to the trailer and was shocked to find Derek sitting on the porch. She walked up and sat down next to him.

"Mer what are you doing here?"

"My mom died an hour ago. I feel so alone and I just needed to talk."

"I'm so sorry Mer." Derek stood and pulled Meredith into his arms. He gently pushed her hair out of her face and noticed the tears running down her cheek.

"Derek, I love you and I am so sorry that I have been pushing you away. I need you I can not imagine my life without you. But I am so afraid that we will fail. It is a chance I am willing to take if you still want me." she looked up into his eyes.

"Mer I love you so much. The last thing I will ever do is hurt you. It's just that I don't think that you are truly ready. I think you are hurting right now and you should wait until after the pain from losing your mom wears off before you make a choice." he gently kissed her cheek.

"Seriously, Seriously, I finally come to you bearing my soul and you push me away once again." she quickly pushed him away and turned to leave.

"Meredith I am not pushing you away I just want you to think rationally." he walked forward.

"Go to HELL Derek. I don't understand you at all. I have to go." she ran to her car.

"Meredith stop you don't understand. Please let me explain." he yelled

"No I am certainly in no mood to listen to any of your explanations. Goodbye Derek." she climbed into her car and drove off.

Meredith cell phone began ringing.

"Hey Christina" she answered

"Meredith where are you at?" Christina asked

"Oh Christina I went to Derek and once again he pushed me away." she started crying. She was about to tell Christina she would call her back when she noticed a deer standing in the middle of the road. She veered off the road to miss the deer and then there was nothing but black.

Christina had called to check on Meredith. She was listening to her when she heard the scream come from Meredith.

"Meredith, Meredith" the phone went dead. She tried several times to call back and only reached her voice mail.

Derek went into the trailer running his hands thew his hair. He didn't mean to push Meredith away he just wanted her to take the time to grieve for her mom before they started back up on their relationship. When she walked away he began to see the tears in her eyes and he knew instantly that he had once again hurt her. Why didn't he just take her inside and hold her that was what she wanted she needed him and what did he do he pushed her away once again. He picked up the phone to call her cell phone but only got her voice mail.

Christina quickly drove over to Meredith's house to see if she had made it home. She went inside and heard voices in the kitchen.

She went into the kitchen to only find Izzy, and George.

"Hey Christina what are you doing here?"

George asked as he stood up.

"Where is Meredith?" she quickly asked.

"We haven't seen her since the hospital. Why?" Izzy asked in her concerned voice.

"I called her and was talking to her and she was telling me that McDreamy had pushed her away once again. Then all of a sudden she started screaming and the phone went dead. I have been trying to call her but it goes straight to her voice mail. We need to go look for her I think she was leaving his trailer when she called." Christina answered angrily.

They were about to head at the door when the phone rang. Izzy quickly answered.

"Meredith?"

"Uh no its Derek. I was hoping that Meredith was there." he answered

Christina stood there anxiously.

Izzy looked at her. "It's Derek he's looking for Meredith."

Christina grabbed the phone and hung it up.

Then they quickly left the house in search of Meredith. They knew where start but knew she could be anywhere.

Derek jumped into his car and started down the road when he noticed a vehicle flipped on it's top on the side of the road. From the look of the vehicle it had rolled many times and finally landed on it's top. He got out of his car and began to run over to the vehicle when he almost fell over something. He looked down and started to scream when he realized that it was Meredith she was lying on the ground. He quickly bent down and started calling her name but she wasn't moving. He checked her pulse and realized that it was very weak and she was barely breathing. He picked up his phone and called 911. He then saw headlights and a car stop in the middle of the road. Christina, George and Izzy jumped out and Izzy started screaming.

About that time the ambulance showed up and quickly loaded Meredith into the ambulance. Derek went to get in the back when Christina grabbed his arm.

"Seriously, you did this and now you want to act like the hero. Seriously, back off." Christina jumped into the back of the ambulance.

Five minutes later the ambulance took off and Derek stared after it with tears rolling down his eyes. She had to be okay she had to. He looked over at Izzy and George and they shook their head at him and took off after the ambulance.

Derek quickly got into his car and followed after them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay thanks once again for the reviews. I have found a terrific way to pay Derek back for the way he has been acting in the story. Also I am a huge MERDER fan but I get angry with him a lot because he always blames Meredith for their problems when most of the time he is to blame... So hope you like the story and please keep up the reviews..**

**Chapter Six**

Christina, Izzy and George stood gathered around Meredith's bed staring and waiting for her to wake up. Thank God the only injury that Meredith had was a slight concussion. Derek had been keeping a close eye on her to make sure that no other damage had been done. Derek wanted to be there when she woke up but Christina wouldn't hear of it. She basically through him out of the room telling him that he didn't deserve Meredith's love or affection. They were about to head out of the room when they heard her moan.

"Ouch my head really hurts." Meredith said as she looked around the room.

Christina quickly rushed over beside her bed.

"How are you feeling Mer?" she asked as she sat down in the chair next to her bed.

"Uh who is Mer?" Meredith asked. She looked around at the interns.

"Seriously Mer that is wonderful. The minute you wake up you start playing games with us." Christina smiled.

"Okay uh and who are you?" Meredith asked Christina

Izzy quickly walked over to Christina. "Maybe we should get Dr. Shepherd."

"Yeah I think your right." Christina answered. She quickly left the room to page Dr. Shepherd.

Christina waited at the nurses station for Derek. "Dr. Shepherd you need to come and check on Meredith. She woke up a couple minutes ago and it seems that she doesn't know who she is or who we are either."

"Well it could be due to the concussion but let me check it out." Derek walked into Meredith's room.

"Good Morning, Meredith how are you feeling this morning?" Derek asked as he gently checked around Meredith's head.

"I'm sorry, are you my doctor? I never knew that Doctors were so cute." Meredith giggled.

"Seriously did you just giggle Mer?" Christina about chocked on her own saliva.

"Thanks for the compliment Meredith you are quite beautiful yourself. You were in a car accident and are suffering from a concussion. The trauma to the brain may have caused you to have temporary amnesia. Your memories should start coming back in a couple of days. In the mean time if there is anything at all that you need just have one of the nurses page me. I'll be back in a little while to check on you." Derek reached down and gently rubbed her cheek.

Meredith smiled and blushed at Derek. "Thank you. You are such a nice doctor."

Derek turned to leave the room and gestured for the interns to follow him out.

"Do not try to remind her about her life right now. Just give her injuries a chance to heal. Everything should return in a couple days." Derek turned to leave.

"Dr. Shepherd the amnesia may have been your fault." Christina said.

"What are you talking about Dr. Yang?" Derek walked over to her

"Well, I have done studies on amnesia and I am well aware that people can suffer from amnesia from a traumatic or emotional event. The last time I talked to Meredith she was crying because you turned her away. And then of course her mom had died hours before that so maybe her amnesia is not due to the car crash." Christina walked away leaving Derek alone to think about his actions.

Derek finished his last surgery of the day and headed upstairs to see Meredith. He walked into her room and was surprised to see Finn sitting beside her bed.

"Hello Dr. Shepherd, Meredith was just telling me that she had a nice Doctor. I didn't realize that you were her doctor." Finn smiled at Meredith.

"Meredith how are you feeling. I hope this guy hasn't upset you" Derek glared down at Finn.

"Oh no of course not he has been keeping me company since I was all alone." Meredith smiled at Finn.

"Well, I better go I have a lot to do. I will be back later tonight." he reached down and placed a kiss on Meredith's cheek.

Derek's blood began to boil. "Sorry visiting hours are over at 8. You will have to come back tomorrow." Derek said angrily.

"Okay well I will see you bright and early in the morning then Meredith." and with that Finn left.

"Are you sure that you are feeling alright? You haven't remembered anything at all?" Derek asked.

"I can't even remember my name until someone says it." Meredith smiled up at Derek

"It will take some time but it will come back to you Meredith. Soon you will remember everything." Derek sat down next to Meredith's bed. Meredith closed her eyes and fell asleep. Derek sat there and watched her sleep. She was so beautiful and he couldn't believe that he had hurt her once again. He definitely didn't want to believe that he had caused her amnesia. How could she forget him and everything they had shared. That is when he thought about what he said to her the other night how he had pushed her away when she needed him the most. How could he have been so stupid. And of course there was Finn still hanging around and now he was trying to use the amnesia to win Meredith's love. Derek drifted off to sleep and didn't wake until he heard someone come into the room.

"Dr. Shepherd you can leave I will sit with her for awhile." George said as he took a seat next to the window.

"That's okay I want to stay." Derek ran his fingers through his hair.

"Why did you turn her away?" George blurted out.

"I didn't mean to. I just didn't want her to make a decision based on the pain of losing her mother." Derek sighed.

"How stupid can you be.  
I'm sorry but the girl has been in love with you since day one.  
She has waited for you and watched you walk away so many times.  
Every time she is almost over you, every time she is about to move on you come back around and start playing games with her heart.  
When she finally starts believing in you, you turn your back on her.  
There is no excuse for treating her like garbage.  
She needed you, she came to you for help and you pushed her away."  
George couldn't believe he talked that way to his boss but he couldn't stand it any longer.

"George your right I am so scared that she will walk away from me that I keep her at arms length.  
I swear right here and now when she gets her memory back I am going to ask her to marry me.  
I will never hurt her again."  
Derek laid his head back into the chair. Now he just had to wait until her memory returned. He couldn't help but wonder if Meredith would forgive him this time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Meredith woke up to a head full of memories. Memories she would rather forget than remember. Especially the night that her mother died tears started to flood her eyes. She had went to see Derek because she knew he was the only person who could help her with the grief that she felt for her mother. He had pushed her away and she got in her car and drove off out of nowhere a deer appeared and she swerved to miss it. She didn't want to have her memory back she didn't want to deal with the pain of losing her mom or the pain of being rejected by Derek. She couldn't face it not yet.

She was about to get up and run from the hospital when Christina walked in.

"Hey what are you doing?" Christina ran over and stopped Meredith from getting out of bed.

"Christina get out of my way. I have to get out of here I cannot deal with this. Please let me leave." Meredith begged.

"Mer you have your memory back. That's wonderful. You can not leave you have to stay."

"Look I would rather not have my memory back. I would rather forget everything." Meredith sighed.

"Look there are only two people who know. Me and you right. So don't let anyone know fake it for now until you can handle the situation." Christina liked the idea she wished she could fake memory loss as well.

"Seriously, you think I could pull it off?" Meredith was shocked that she considered such a lucid plan but it definitely sounded worth the effort. She would have time to think and she wouldn't have that if Derek knew she had her memory back.

She was about to agree with Christina when Derek walked in. Christina winked at Meredith letting her know that she was ready to play the game.

"Good morning Meredith. How are you feeling this morning?" Derek asked hoping that her memory had returned.

"I have a terrible pain in my head. Other than that okay I guess." Meredith looked away unable to look Derek in the eyes. She couldn't lie to him not intentionally so if he didn't ask she wouldn't have to tell.

"Have you remembered anything about your life yet?" Derek was praying that she remembered their love.

Meredith looked towards Christina trying to let her know that she couldn't lie to Derek.

"I just asked her the same question Dr. Shepherd. She said she remembers some of her childhood." Christina knew that Meredith didn't want to lie to Derek.

"That is wonderful in no time at all Meredith you should remember everything." Derek turned to leave but quickly stopped.

"Meredith let me know when you regain all of your memory okay."

"Of course Dr. Shepherd." Meredith replied.

Derek once again turned and walked towards the door.

"Derek"

"Meredith did you just say my name?" Derek quickly walked back to the bed.

"Christina could you give us a minute." Meredith asked.

"Mer what are you doing?" Christina asked

"Just give us a minute."

Christina turned and left the room.

"How long have you had your memory back" Derek sat down on the bed.

"Since this morning. I didn't want it to return. I didn't want to remember the things that you said to me but I just didn't want to lie to you." Meredith explained.

Derek reached for Meredith's hand and place a gentle kiss on top.

"Meredith I want you in my life. I love you. The only reason I acted like such a jerk the other day was because I thought that you needed time to grieve for you mother. I didn't want you to leave I just didn't want you to make a decision about us. Please forgive me. I love you so much and there is no excuse for my behavior." Derek looked into Meredith's eyes and saw tears falling down her face.

"Oh Derek I wish that we could just start over that we could forget the past and start fresh."

Derek stood up and climbed down on one knee.

Meredith looked at him and started to cry when Derek reached in his pocket and pulled out a diamond ring.

"Meredith we have been through more than any couple should ever have to go through. No matter which way we turn we always turn back to one another. I promise you here and now that I will always love and cherish you every day for the rest of my life. Meredith will you marry me?" Derek asked.

"Yes Derek, Yes of course. That would make me the happiest woman in the world." Meredith watched as Derek slipped the ring on her finger. He lowered himself onto the bed and took a hold of Meredith's face. He gently kissed her mouth.

Meredith smiled and realized that it was true that people lived happily ever after...


End file.
